carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
ttyl tear gas
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
