So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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