I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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