Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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