a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
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