jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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