My brain says no but my pants say off.
You can't motorboat a personality
Reggie can tackle my bush.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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