and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
