Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
