New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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