Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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