From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
