Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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