everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
