I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
