Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?