So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
