Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
