You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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