Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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