Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I hope mine doesn't look like that
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
