By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
