She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
