What did we do last night that was yellow?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
birth control should be required to get into college
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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