i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
