He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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