Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
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i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
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We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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