What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
