we're blogging at a bar
I think my fart just growled at me.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
