at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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