i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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