My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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