He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
