I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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