I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize