We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
