I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
