What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
