The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
