i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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