Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
