She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
