You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
