so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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