I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
