awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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