It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Randomize