So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
