I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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