He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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