pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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