She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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