I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You dont lie about slip and slides
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
