I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Boobs are out for the taking
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
