You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
