so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize
