He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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