Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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