Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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