Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
My vagina just recognized that song.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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