i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
